Treading into the unknown
* Thoughts before coming to ASP
"Do you want to go or not?" Were my mother's firm words. I'm not very good at making choices but this one seemed easy.
"Yes."
I replied equally firmly. And now that I am here, I don't regret the choice one bit. As I travel through the recesses of my mind I can very vividly grope out what exactly I went through as count down for d- day began.
Ten days before: I was very laid back and hadn't a thing to bother about as the sound of the crisp, brown pages of my book drowned out everything. I did manage to finish reading my book without realising that I had only a few days before I was due to leave. Only problem with that was- I realised after I finished reading by book. A cold fear- one that I have never before encountered- usurped my mind. My thoughts ran like wild horses- impossible to reign.
"Will I ever get along with everybody there?"
"What if I get infected with the vile writers' block and spend 3 weeks staring at blank pages while everybody else adorns theirs with beautifully crafted word ornaments?"
Shaking my head in a failed attempt to get rid of the thoughts, I got to actual work. I successfully packed my bag with these thoughts perpetually plaguing my mind.
"Stop." I chided myself, "You are a writer. And this is what you have been waiting for all your fourteen years of life."
Using this statement as an antidote to all the frequent usurpers I walked with the courage of a lion which shattered the moment I saw everyone.
"So many people. What if I end up forgetting how to speak and just have to stare at everyone stupidly?"A thought yelled as it skidded past my tofu- like brain.
"Shut up." The alert side of my brain scolded and with a deep breath I walked into a world full of new opportunities and possibilities.
"Do you want to go or not?" Were my mother's firm words. I'm not very good at making choices but this one seemed easy.
"Yes."
I replied equally firmly. And now that I am here, I don't regret the choice one bit. As I travel through the recesses of my mind I can very vividly grope out what exactly I went through as count down for d- day began.
Ten days before: I was very laid back and hadn't a thing to bother about as the sound of the crisp, brown pages of my book drowned out everything. I did manage to finish reading my book without realising that I had only a few days before I was due to leave. Only problem with that was- I realised after I finished reading by book. A cold fear- one that I have never before encountered- usurped my mind. My thoughts ran like wild horses- impossible to reign.
"Will I ever get along with everybody there?"
"What if I get infected with the vile writers' block and spend 3 weeks staring at blank pages while everybody else adorns theirs with beautifully crafted word ornaments?"
Shaking my head in a failed attempt to get rid of the thoughts, I got to actual work. I successfully packed my bag with these thoughts perpetually plaguing my mind.
"Stop." I chided myself, "You are a writer. And this is what you have been waiting for all your fourteen years of life."
Using this statement as an antidote to all the frequent usurpers I walked with the courage of a lion which shattered the moment I saw everyone.
"So many people. What if I end up forgetting how to speak and just have to stare at everyone stupidly?"A thought yelled as it skidded past my tofu- like brain.
"Shut up." The alert side of my brain scolded and with a deep breath I walked into a world full of new opportunities and possibilities.
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